About My blog

Holding space is the process in which a person is fully present with themselves and with others. As a mental health therapist for thirteen years, I was honored to hold space with my clients. In 2009, I realized I needed a break, so I have temporarily stepped away from my career. I am now re-learning how to hold space for myself. This blog follows my journey.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Goals, Plans, Dentist Appointments - and other easily fogotten things.

My husband quit his job last May. I will spare you the boring, corporate details, but basically his job was moved to Minnesota and he (we) chose to not move with it. We don't have anything against Minnesota, but if you've spent any time here in Colorado, you know it is just plain hard to leave. Luckily, this decision has been a positive one. We knew it was coming, so we prepared financially, and now we're just waiting to see what life brings us. Hopefully, at some point, that will include some sort of income.

While my husband has been enjoying his "sabbatical," I have been re-thinking about mine. I re-read the first blog post I wrote. I talked about ending my therapy practice and spending chunks of time caring for myself. I had imagined hiking, taking Master Gardener's classes, writing for hours each day. However, during the past eighteen months, I've done some of that. But mostly, I've helped with homework, attempted to potty-train my stubborn three-year-old, ran countless errands, cooked dinners, etc. You may be quick to defend my mundane activities as just necessary things moms have to do, and I thank you for the support. However, my husband has also done all that. He has always been equally involved in the daily household tasks, but he has also somehow managed to have an awesome summer. (All while caring for my broken elbow, but that is another topic for another blog post.)

My husband being Mr. MBA/finance man is truly the most disciplined, organized man in Colorado, in the World, in the Universe. When he quit his job, he had a list of things he was going to do - play tennis practically everyday, focus on his band (Yes, my finance husband is in a funk/dance/R&B band), hang out with the family. Looking back over the past few months, I realize he has done all of those things. He has also managed to meditate on his future career - "Valerie, let's start our own business." - "What if I start a consulting business?" "How about opening an upscale liquor store?" (as opposed to a sleazy one in a stripmall) "Maybe, we should buy the tennis center - I'm there all the time anyways."

Yes, isn't he wonderful. No sarcasm there - I love him, he's great. But - sheesh - his insane discipline just seems to magnify my total lack of discipline. He's focused, and I'm distracted. He's driven, and I'm along for the ride. He's ambitious, and I'm, well, the opposite of that.

Okay - I'm not as lazy as the above paragraph sounds, but comparing our goals and styles, has made me realize that I have to get on the stick. If he's going to rack up a mountain of accomplishments, then I should be able to do something. Let's go, Valerie - write more, run more (when the elbow heals, again - another topic.), play more. You can do it - focus!

How do you stay focused? How do you achieve your goals?

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